It’s (Not) A Scary Time For Men

If you were to ask our President he’d tell you it’s a scary time for young men in America.

Apparently, being held responsible for your actions is scary. Women have always been held responsible- for their actions and the actions of others—while men have been dodging consequences. Donald Trump fears an American where that is no longer the case.

But what he, and anyone who agrees with his statement, fails to realize is for millennia the world has been a dangerous place for women.

His statement comes from a place of tremendous privilege.

Credit: Michael Vadon/Flickr

Does he have to keep his keys in his hand when walking alone at night? To use them as a potential weapon?

Does he call a friend or family member every time he gets in an Uber or Lyft?

Does he keep pepper spray on him?

Does he give a fake address to taxi drivers so they don’t know where he actually lives?

Because women do all of this, and loads more, to feel safe on a regular basis.

And if we don’t take every possible precaution—from staying sober at all times, to making sure our clothing isn’t too revealing—we get blamed for an assault.

Women are told they shouldn’t live in a first-floor apartment because it’s easy for someone to break into.

Jogging in Morning. Credit: Hartwig HKD/Flickr

Women are told they shouldn’t go jogging, or running after dark.

Women are told to always bring a friend, or two when going out.

It’s not a scary time for men in America. It has always been a scary time for women.

One time, I was walking with a friend late at night through an empty park. We were in an unfamiliar area and she was scared that someone might come out of nowhere and attack us. So she called her boyfriend and told him where we were. And she made sure he stayed on the line until we reached our destination.

Women do this sort of thing all the time. And it’s not just some women—it’s all women.

On public transportation, or while walking I always wear headphones so strangers will not talk to me—and if they do, I pretend to not notice. But I also don’t play music because it’s distracting and I might not notice someone sneaking up on me. See how complicated and exhausting this is?

I have to think ten steps ahead just to make sure I’m safe in everyday situations. Situations that men don’t have to worry about.

It’s mentally and physically exhausting.

And I’m sick of it.

I’m sick of men taking no responsibility. Instead of owning up to the fact that women live in near constant fear of being assaulted (and then are blamed for that assault), men choose to play the victim. They choose to claim “it’s a scary time to be a man because I might be falsely accused.”  There is strong evidence that only 2% of rape claims are false. Yet every woman have a 25% chance of being raped at some point in her life.

We need to worry less about the men who think a great injustice is done when a man is accused of rape and instead focus on all of the women who twist their lives into complicated knots on a regular basis just to stay safe.