My mother had surgery last week. Bedrest, heavy medication, the works. The weight of being the oldest, the second in command, is always on my shoulders. It’s a comfort and a burden all the same, and I have never felt it so acutely weighing down on me than I have in the past few weeks. […]
This year, I’ve decided not to change myself at all. Every single year before this one, for as long as I could remember, I would write down requests from normal to insane for my new year: Write a poem, ace your classes, lose a hundred pounds. Sometimes, resolutions can be excuses to escape yourself. This […]
I fainted for the first time in my life last summer. I was working out, without fail, at 5:30 every single morning. Some days I felt as if my legs were crying for help, but I got up anyway. I probably should have rested, at some point. The morning I fainted, I skipped out on […]
Can I be real with you for a second, reader? I’m exhausted. I’ve gone straight past tired and landed on a weariness that settles into your bones, under your eyes, makes a home in your heart. It’s been a long semester and each day feels like a never-ending marathon that I’ve not prepared for. I […]
I used to hate my little brother. The day I came into the hospital to see him after my mom gave birth felt more like mourning than celebration—I had years of being the only one, the sole source of attention in my tiny family, the epicenter of love, the “baby,” only for it to be […]
“I’m just so scared about everything,” I cried to my mom one night. We were talking about what always seems to come up periodically throughout the year: my anxiety. Anxiety, the clever girl, sneaks up on me when I least expect it, my throat closing up, eyes welling with tears. It leaves me breathless […]
I was eighteen and frantic the first time I heard the word “dichotomy.” The person that said it was the complete opposite of me: white, preppy, prepared. My eyes bugged out—what does that mean? I remember looking around the room, helpless, for anyone else who also had no idea what that word meant. But […]
